Beliefs !

Have you ever experienced a feeling of strong beliefs about yourself getting break everyday as you live routine life !

I have !

I don't want to praise or curse Auroville for no reason but still, few things happening here never ever happened to me anywhere else...To make a long story short, let me put it this way.

From childhood, we are leaving with some beliefs about yourself, your culture, your abilities, your goals and many other things. Those get build up on your own, through your parents and surrounding atmosphere in these many years of your growth. For example, I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT FAN...I DON'T LIKE SWEET...I WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER...and bla bla...! generally, we manage to continue to believe this and we live our whole life. Also, I CAN'T STAY ALONE...I NEED PEOPLE AROUND TO TALK...I CAN'T DO ONE THING FOR LONG TIME..ITS SO BORING...and many simple (?) beliefs like this are strongly built up in our mind and the compound wall around them become thicker and thicker. Imagine, one fine day....something penetrates through the wall and breaks them one by one every day. You suddenly realize that the aim and objective around which your whole thinking process, daily routine, priorities were based is changed ! We do everything assuming a basic thing that I AM A HUMAN BEING AND I NEED A HOUSE TO STAY IN, FOOD TO EAT TWICE A DAY, MANY FRIENDS TO CHAT WITH... and one day you realize that may be you are not a human being...or even if you are, it makes no change. You still may not need a house, may need food only once, may be you can stay alone for days ................. what you do next day?

Something similar (not that extreme) and funny experiences I am getting every day. A small earthquake (limited to only myself) is shaking ground below my foot by few inches every day. After crying many years for peace, time for composing music, lot of money to have for luxuries...I landed up in Auroville where all needed things are provided. And after staying for almost 2 years and after vigorous efforts to live up to my aims and beliefs, I realized today that I don't want to be a musician anymore...(I was just fooling myself by saying that)...I don't need money for luxurious things at all (though i have lot more money to spend than before, I don't feel like spending it on luxurious things)...I don't need peace around me...I have found inner peace...!

You all know rashmi. She used to say...I HATE CATS, I AM AFRAID TO LIZARDS, I CAN'T DO NEGOTIATIONS EVEN IN VEGETABLE MARKET, I CAN'T SIT ONE PLACE INSIDE HOUSE IN EVENINGS, I DONT LIKE TO COOK MUCH, etc etc.... And today, she takes care of 3 cats, she can kill big lizards with a single stroke of broom, she meets business people and talks about economy and negotiate a lot, she sits in evening reading a book or planting a trees without a single thought of getting bored and cooks delicous food... She has found inner peace too !

The question is not about changing your priorities...They change anyways with time...But, the important thing is the pride, self esteem, also gets break along with those beliefs. You suddenly think that If my assumptions yesterday are changed today....May be my assumptions today will change tomorrow??? That is a point, where you find yourself melting into surrounds, our acceptance level for everything increases exponentially. You suddenly realize that your own limitations were fictitious and you come to know your real abilities. AT least you realize one thing that "your assumption about yourself for NOT having ability to do something might be wrong and you may eventually do those things easily. Then, unknown journey towards achieving goals without stressing yourself starts....!